For most of my life, I had just lived on the surface. It was safer for me to live that way, just on the top layer of my life. If I only paid attention to what was peeking out on the surface I could manage that and stay afloat.
Living on the Surface was Exhausting
I would pretty it up, put a smile on and do a good job of bypassing some seriously deep, heavy crap. This went on for years and I was really good at avoiding things. However, the amount of energy and time I had to put into ignoring that stuff increased every time I added a new piece of emotional baggage to my haul.
My twenties were quite a doozy so by the time I hit my early 30’s I was exhausted. ‘I AM SOOOO TIRED’ was my go-to saying and I had it on repeat throughout those days! Looking back, the 30’s seemed so young for me to be emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted on such a large scale but that was the truth.
Choosing Flexibility within the Layers
Now in my 40’s I don’t just live on the surface anymore, I chose to have flexibility within the layers. Interestingly my feelings of safety lie in the fact that I can actively work with the underpinnings of all the surface stuff. Having the ability and making the choice to move between the surface, under the surface, and even to do deep soul worthy dives is freeing to me.
I live with a greater capacity to be curious about me and about others. I find so many things in this life to be interesting now. And I hold a much larger capacity for creativity and for shaping my world around me.
If your safety is found by living on the surface, I completely understand. And of course, it’s perfectly okay to be there. Just like it’s okay for me to be where I am. No insisting that one be like the other. We are all exactly where we are meant to be right in this very moment.
As always, if you have questions for me about how I transitioned from one layer living to multi-layer living then please feel free to reach out!
I would love to hear from you. You can join the conversation on Facebook, or you can send me a private message here.
Nicole