I have been afraid of spiders for as long as I can remember. Growing up if there was one in my room, even if it was tiny, I would not be able to rest until it was gone.  I was so afraid and I experienced a lot of physical and emotional stress, someone else had to remove it. As an adult my fear became worse.  Country living presented more opportunities for me to engage in my fear of spiders, and by example show my kids how to fear them too.  I would scream and panic, my heart would pound, I would hyperventilate. I would feel scared, threatened, frustrated, and completely helpless.  I would alarm the whole household and yell for my husband until he came to help.

Our fears go much deeper than what is on the surface, beyond the current day upsets and issues. There is a powerful subconscious piece also at work, a hidden programming.  Thankfully there are techniques that work with this subconscious piece while addressing the current day issues.  Techniques that can help us lessen our fears, and make life more manageable and peaceful for ourselves and our families.

Using these techniques I have created a new reality for myself with regards to spiders.   I may feel surprised by a spider but I am (90% of the time) in control and I’m able to remove them from my home by myself, if I feel the need to.  I am now able to role model mindful behaviour with my girls with regards to spiders.  Last summer I heard the distress in my 6 year old daughter’s voice yelling “Mom there’s a spider in your room!”  I grabbed a tissue and off I went to check it out confidently.  She was quite upset and pointed to my window.  I looked and smiled at the spider and explained that I had found that small spider there a few days ago and had decided to let it stay, that it was my friend.  She looked at me, her concern was gone and she said “oh ok, that spider got in my head.”  More recently I opened my car window and a good sized spider fell in and was 6 inches away from me.  I was able to stay calm, in control, and safe.  At the next stop I was able to get rid of it and carry on.  As for the other 10%, I do have a spider size limit – I prefer to have someone help me with the big hairy ones and I’m okay with that.

We don’t have to live with our fears ruling our lives. It is possible to shift into a place where the fear is greatly reduced and much more manageable.  We can lessen the reaction to the fear and be able to respond to the situation with a clear head and figure out the next steps of action calmly.  We are always role modeling for our children whether it’s mindfully or not.  Choosing to model mindful behaviour coming from a place of power, what a beautiful gift to ourselves and our children!

How our fears affect us, our kids, and what we can do about it!

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