From Uncomfortable Change to a New Normal

Lately I’ve been enjoying some new normals in my professional life. It’s a great feeling when you realize and appreciate that which was once out of your comfort zone now feels easy, a no brainer, a natural part of your life. For those who are highly sensitive, like myself, and want to create some change it can require many smaller steps rather than a few big ones and done. Here’s what I do:

  • I prefer to break things down into small manageable chunks. Even though the steps are smaller I can still feel resistance or stressed with regards to a task. That may look like me feeling confused or fearful, having negative thoughts, unable to focus, procrastinating, my body aching, or perhaps its external circumstances I’m allowing to get in the way. I use EFT/Tapping to interrupt my stress response and address whatever is coming up for me at the time either by myself or with my practitioner.
  • As I move through my steps and have positive experiences and outcomes I have learned to harness this positive energy. I intentionally use it to propel myself forward into another step on my list like saying yes to an opportunity that feels uncomfortable for me. What If I have an experience that didn’t go so well from one of my steps? I use my EFT/Tapping to interrupt my stress response and address what’s coming up for me about it too so I don’t stay stuck there and lose momentum.
  • I have found that I work best moving through my steps when I am accountable to someone else so I always have an accountability buddy that I report to.

How do we avoid burnout when we are creating change that feels uncomfortable? The steps above along with other supportive habits through the process like meditation, nutrition, hydration, exercise, and human connection are all pieces of a foundation that is built to not only reach the change/goal/big step, but also to be able to sustain the change in a healthy way.

(Our Own) Truth Be Told

So many of us can be challenged with speaking our own truth. Many of us may have learned that doing so can get us into trouble with others.  Sometimes we are so concerned about what others think that we will avoid it at all cost.

There are many thoughts and feelings as to why we are not speaking our truth. We may not feel safe to do it, we don’t want to upset the other person, we want to avoid conflict, we want to be able to go about our ways and still have everyone like us, we don’t want to be judged, we want to feel accepted, or we may feel responsible for keeping the peace.  We may have a great need to explain ourselves and give lots of detail, or we may avoid others and the conversation or situation all together.  We may even end up resenting others, blaming them thinking it’s their fault that we can’t speak our truth.  The whole thing can be exhausting.  When we do this we give our power away.  Why are other people’s thoughts and feelings more important than our own?  By not speaking our own truth we end up hurting ourselves. We pay a price that will worsen over time.  That price is customized to the individual.

The first step is becoming aware of how not speaking our truth does not serve us, and knowing the price we are paying. It’s a step by step process of gathering experience and working on what comes up for us during the steps.  If you are feeling challenged and wish to have more freedom to speak your truth, please feel free to drop me a line at nicoletomingas@gmail.com.

New Year Thoughts

The holiday break feels like a long time ago now. Reflecting back, there were days of where I hung out with my family and the only ‘to do’s’ (if I could call them that) where to enjoy some food, pick a movie to watch, flip through a magazine and just go with the flow of the day. Was I concerned about what I was not getting done at the time? NOPE, this was an intentional gift to myself. I know I did what was best for me as I was looking forward to getting back into my personal & business routines, and my kids personal & school routines, and doing so with excitement!

Years ago I decided to stop making resolutions. At the time I didn’t really understand why I wouldn’t follow through with them. I just knew that starting the first month off in the New Year not sticking to my resolutions felt crappy. What became clear to me was I’m not really into doing things just because everyone else is. I do things if / when they are right for me, not because of the calendar or someone else’s agenda. I also know that when I really want to do something I will make it happen. The energy is there, the ability to ‘find the time’ happens, and the focus is immense. I now prefer to create my vision, set my intentions, and work through whatever resistance comes up for me.

2016 was a year spent creating a stronger foundation, expanding my skills, working with my manifesting abilities, and stepping into a new level of acceptance of myself. Welcome 2017! It’s time to shine in a way that comes most naturally, to step beyond newly acquired comfort zones, and come from an even greater place of service. Cheers to a magnificent year ahead!

Life Balance – Let’s give ourselves a break!

In my late twenties I remember feeling that I could only do 2 of 3 things well at one time and I had 3 categories – health, career, and family. I was in shape and my career was great but the family stuff not so much. Or I was doing well with my career and family responsibilities but neglecting my health and wellbeing. Just the thought of having it all balanced out amongst the three exhausted and overwhelmed me. Many years later I discovered there were more areas of life than just 3. Wait, WHAT?! I can’t seem to manage 3 well, there’s more?

There are multiple categories of life to look at – Relationships, Health & Wellbeing, Wealth, Contributions, Business / Career, and Spirituality. My overwhelm was from thinking that I had to have them all balanced perfectly all the time. I now know that it’s not about perfection. I do not need each category to be balanced exactly, nor does each one have to be rated a 10 out of 10.

The point is I get to choose what my categories of life look like. I decide what areas to make priority, where I will put in more time and energy, and what areas will be lower down on the scale. Really it’s about what works for the individual. Raising a family and going through the different stages – babies, school age, teenage, and adult years will all have an impact on my categories. Things will rise up in life and it’s ok if I divert some energy and attention from another area when it’s needed and then I can recalibrate when things calm down. Being able to accept that the balance of my life is not set in stone and never needs to be ‘perfect’ definitely helps me have more peace in my life!

Circle of Support: Learn how to make the best of yours!

Many years ago I was attending a business event where Pinball Clemons gave an inspirational talk. He was amazing and had great energy!  At one point he brought up how people can feel all alone even when surrounded by lots of people.  That spoke right to me, to my core.  It triggered me terribly as I sat there feeling very much alone and unsupported even though I had people in my life who loved and cared about me.  It took me many adult years to figure out that we are in charge of looking after ourselves and for putting together our circles of support.

Some questions to ask:

  • Who do I turn to when things get dialed up in my life?
  • Am I getting the support I need from them?
  • Do I need someone to listen, to be a sounding board or do I need help with finding a solution, or both?
  • Do I communicate with the person what it is I need from them at the time?
  • Notice any patterns, does it help speaking with them or does it make things worse?

Sometimes the ones who are closest to us are not able to support us in the way that we need. What they can give to us and what we need in terms of support can look and feel very different.  This is where it is beneficial to have neutral parties (paid professionals) included as part of the circle.

We can have different circles for different areas of life. I have 3 core circles of support:

Personal                              Health & Wellness                           Business / Career

I invite you to make a list of your circle(s). It’s possible you may want to make some changes depending on how you answered the questions above.  Below are some ideas to help put together or add to your circle(s).

  • Family
  • Friends
  • Colleagues
  • Coach
  • Chiropractor
  • ND
  • RMT
  • Physiotherapist
  • Mental Health Professional
  • MD
  • Faith
  • Angels
  • Spirit Guides

It’s important to remember that we are at the centre of our circles and relying only on others to support us is not enough. We must also play an active role of supporting ourselves through self-care.  If you are having challenges with self-care, or your circles of support then let’s have a conversation!  Please email your complimentary conversation request to nicoletomingas@gmail.com.